Panic Poetry (2006)

 

 Panic Poetry 

by Romar A. Pabustan (2006)

The knights went to the scorching hot desserts; 

A steaming mountain of a bird's dung;

A crowd prances on a rally with happiness; 

Five little beggars watch Sesame Street on a shop window;

Old and Rickety tree in the Woods but glittery;

Comedy troupe on the dim basement; 

UFO on a cloudy mackerel skies; 

Sunspots on a hideous mad bespectacled scientist;

Microscopic earth seen by a public elementary teacher;

Hades' celebration of a yuletide season; 

Candle-like melting faces of pupils in a classroom;

A million of hovering legless cockroaches;

Galloping rainbow horses in beta movement;

Bulldozing a hill of silage in a rooftop;

Group of Inuits worshipping a huge dream catcher;

A vortex underneath the old pew;

A jeepney drives in a mobius strip;

a mauve colored flock of birds flying along the highway;

a matchstick that can make a place dark when ignited;

Whirlwinds made of koi fish running on the road;

Getting foggy and foggier...

Footsteps.

Footsteps.

Footsteps.

Gone.

WHILE IN THE HOLY MASS (2006)

 

 WHILE IN THE HOLY MASS

by Romar A. Pabustan (2006)

Kids at play with giant red balloon;

Fat lady laughs harder like a donkey;

Snoozing grandpops in a long pew;

A praying prostitute on a fuchsia bikini;

A hologram of hovering S.S. Enterprise;

A hooded futureman genuflects on the altar;

Cellphones starts to sing indistinctively;

An old crippled man throws pixie dusts in the aisle;

Group of anarchists smoke rainbows behind the wall;

Two headless jugglers on a unicycle in the churchyard;

Colossal dildo-shaped statue next to bell tower;

A handsome trillionaire marrying a line of brides;

An advanced cyborg selling popcorns and drinks to deacons;

A teenage gangsters with baseball bats during homily;

introverted fireman burning a pile of travelogues and Bibles;

Short native [Americans] Indians on war against themselves;

A pillory and gallows controlled by an app;

Full-frontal nude photo of Loraine on Time Magazine;

A pitbull peeing on wall of famous company logos;

mother butlers jumping on golden trampolines;

Group of widows playing pokers on tablets;

Sweet smell of sinigang coming from incense;

Melting colorful candles on the doorstep;

an autistic savant playing Pater Noster on marimba;

An LGBT military troop singing as a choir;

A bishop reading tabloid on a hammock;

Obese Irish man playing crucified Christ;

a little Siamese twin puking on red carpet;

A white rabbit passing by and singing Alleluia!;

The priest threw the Bible, grabbed the megaphone

and shouted:

Repent!

Repent!

REPEEEEEEEENT!

[All people nodding on a blast of heavy metal rock riff!]

Those Black Clouds

 

CITY PEOPLE
by Romar A. Pabustan

How amazing these passing people are in this city.

They're all passing by 
With own objectives 
With different clothings, 
With own thinking, 
With own talking, 
With own paces, 
With different glances, 
With different classes, 
With own spaces, 
With own businesses,
Wearing shoes and laces 
Holding own hats and cases 
But using with same old roads 
Carrying unseen heavy loads...


Where have all these passing people come from?

(2013)

HOME IS NOT THERE ANYMORE
by Romar A. Pabustan

I walked.
 And I walked.
 Then I walked.
 It is a nonstop walking. 
                                                             That far, 
No one saw me walking.
A lot of steps, I've been making 
In my life, I've been walking.

I regret all the roads I've taken, 
I was walking with no thinkin'--- 
 We know, we can see me 
 but nobody can see me

I'm lost. 
And I've got lost. 
Then got lost. 
It is a nonstop missing.
                                                             That far, 
No one saw me getting lost. 
A lot of steps, I've been making 
In my life, I've been walking.

I regret all the wrong roads I've taken, 
I was thinking but, the self, still missin'. 
We know, we can see me 
 but nobody can see me
   
                                                              That far, 
I walked. 
And I walked. 
Then I walked. 
It is a nonstop walking.

                                                              That far,
 I'm lost. 
And I've got lost.
Then got lost. 
It is a nonstop missing.

I want to go back home. 
Begging to go back home. 
But these nameless roads 
Push me to go forth and forth. 
Begging to go back home 
But home is not there anymore.

(2014)

O, THAT CAKE!
by Romar A. Pabustan

That cake!
That cake!
O, that cake! 
There's no other cake
but this,
And there's no one
Can tell, it isn't.
It has no icings nor frostings
No sugar nor flavorings.

But.

It is still a cake.
That cake!
That cake!
O, that cake! 
I've been eatin' the cake
Ever since
And there's no one 
Can tell, I haven't.
It has no icings nor frostings
No sugar nor flavorings.

But.

It is still a cake.
That cake!
That cake!
O, that damn cake! 
If I could only remake
Its new taste---
The cake is already done;
can't do about it.
It has no damn icings nor damn frostings
No damn sugar nor damn flavorings.

But.

It is still a cake.

(2012)

Let It Snow (Sigh) by Romar A. Pabustan The alarm clock woke me up again--  irritating and annoying   It’s three on the dot.  It’s dawn, time to get up.  It’s a typical morning  Outside ‘twas snowing,  ‘twas freezing,  ’twas frostbiting,  ‘twas sub-zero; But the job awaits,  now I have to go. it’s time to feel the wind and its blow.  Donned a jacket,  took a deep breath,  It’s my first snow experience though…  First step was  a surprise, next was mirth,  and the rest were amazement  What a nice  walking on the winter wonderland--  beautiful sentiment.  Nice.  Dark clouds,   chilly white desert,  dried plants,  nothing’s moving, NO BUSES TODAY,  yes today I saw,  it’s perfect, I know, I know:  NO CHOICE TODAY, in my mind.  I must walk through the darkness  A one-and-a-half-mile walking through this heavy burning snow—  Reached the train station,  guess what, there again,   NO TRAIN SERVICE It’s my lucky day,  I know, I know, what a good day  caused by snow! Let it snow, Let it snow, I’m singing Christmas song  ‘’Let it snow’’ It’s December 25th now  YIPPEE!  I am late now. Fantastic. Wish you were here, just let it snow… Confusing sights,   Disoriented—  aching feet and my,  my, my, where do I go?  Where am I goin’?  Where am I? (sigh) I really don’t know—I really don’t. It’s White Christmas, yes it’s time.   I’ve been wishing this for a very long time,  O My childhood dream  Houses aren’t lit up, roads are dead, frosty ears and hands, -- let me tell you what  Transportations are stuck,   snowy country, what a stroke of luck! WALK.  Walk and walk  Walk and walk and walk  Walk and walk and walk and walk.  Walk and walk and walk and walk  Walk and walk and walk  Walk and walk.  W-walk. (sigh) Walking more miles away. Walking in the dark. I’m weary. I can’t feel my body.  I’m now a zombie,  Instincts moved me. (sigh) Slippery pavements, unfriendly air,  this is the coldest  it’s a white cold city and fogginess—  under the sun, I badly miss the basking under the sun…  Feeling unsafe and  feeling lost…  where have all the natives gone? Where have all the spirits gone? Walk,  O Mr. Romar, walk!  That’s part of the job, that’s hard work!  Walk, you have to walk,  There’s no choice.  I need to walk to work; I need to work to live; I need to live to go back home.  Let it snow,  Let it snow  I need to walk more  like yesterdays COLD! COLD! COLD! I am freezing.  (Sigh) I’m weary.  I can’t feel my body.  I’m now a zombie, Instincts moved me.  (Sigh) I stopped.  (Sigh) (Sigh) (Sigh) Let it snow to this city that I won’t name,  Tomorrow, I know, will be the same.  (Sigh) I have to work. Let's do this again for many tomorrows. (2009)

Picking Flowers 
By Romar Pabustan 

There are flowers 
you see them 
amazing; 
Amazingly beautiful. 
You picked one.
And put in a good vase. 
Filled enough water. 
Took care of her.
Treated her a woman.
Showered with love. 
When you sniffed at her, 
Her scent is hell. 
Trying to believe it's heaven 
It's heaven every day. 
Every. 
Single. 
Day. 
Day after day, 
The scent became stronger 
And made the whole room 
a big stench. 
And made the whole view a pain in the eye. 
And made the whole night sleepless.
And made the-- 
D-Don't want to say what happened next, 
Sorry. 
But I say, 
She ruined all. 
Yes, ruined all. I guess,
 well I guess. 
There are 
some 
 flowers out there, too, 
who could make 
a deep man into 
a shallow one; 
who could make 
a worthy man into 
a worthless one; 
who could make 
a happy man into 
a gloomiest one. 


 and the other way around. 


 But still thinking
 if I'll pick the other one. 
But that damn 
 not to 
is more 
more convincing.

(2013)

---

BUKOWSKI'S BIRD
by Romar A. Pabustan


I know places where melancholy dwell; 
But this one's doing quite well, 
Where Bukowski's birds sing greatly 
And melt white hearts poetically.

(2012)

I KILLED MANY PEOPLE
by Romar A. Pabustan

I killed many people
 And tortured the; 
 Cursed them;
 Stabbed them; 
And strangled them.


I committed murders to these people, 
people who never reciprocate.
People who couldn't read feelings;
People who knows emotions
 but themselves.


I committed murder so many times 
and these were all happened in mind....

(2012)

OUTER SPACE
By Romar Pabustan

This house is small 
and it's getting smaller
everytime I breathe.
It's hard to breathe.

Inside.
It's a maddening silence 
in vacuum.
Screaming is futile.
Futility is screaming.
The pressure squeezes 
my heart and soul.
It's hard to breathe.
It's hard to breathe.

Time is in slow motion and it's
Prolonging the pain.
While the gravity pulls 
down my shoulders.
It's so darn heavy!
It's hard to breathe.

In this room, 
The temperature is cold.
It's darker when light is on.
That Nebula gets in 
my closed eyes;
Supernova within.
Shit! I'm surrounded by eyes
But still in the moon.
A nimbus came on my head.

Crying in the rain.

I ain't well. 
(Sigh!)

It's hard to breathe.
It's hard to breathe.

This fucking house is small 
and it's getting smaller, shitty small!
everytime I breathe.
It's darn hard to breathe!
It's darn hard to breathe!
It's darn hard to breathe!
It's darn hard to breathe!
It's darn hard to believe.
(2011)

---

MAN IS ALSO AN ISLAND
by Romar A. Pabustan

This space is getting smaller,
its room gets shrinking.
Atmosphere here ai'nt for a boxed man--
need to let perhaps;
myself, feel the wind
and let perhaps; 
myself, ponder over again.
ain't sure to say,
there are times, many,
man is also an island
when he needs to be one.

(2011)

Can also visit here: Romar Pabustan - NO HOME (weebly.com)

happyromar@

w1

THE VERNAL FIGMENT (3 of 3)

 

 Life
by Romar Pabustan

Life is not
Like a movie--
Life is stranger;
Weirder— it is
more mysterious;
more perilous
than a movie.

................................................................................

Crime
by Romar Pabustan

Tick – tock!
Tick – tock!

Tick! (crime)
Tock! (crime)
TICK! (CRIME)
TOCK! (CRIME)
                        TICK!
                        TOCK!
TICK!  
TOCK!
                        tick!
                       Tock!
tick!
tock!
                      tick!
                      tock!
tick!
tock!


Tick – tock! 
Tick – t-t-t-t-tock!

 (everywhere).


................................................................................


Fashion
by Romar Pabustan

It is an art,
An art of trickery,
To conceal a truth--
Truth beauty,
To create a new look.--
A brand new art,
the ART-ificiality.

................................................................................


Ideas
by Romar Pabustan

Ideas 
are not mind’s work.
Ideas 
are being whispered 
by Angels
Which God has given 
as blessing.
The blessing in holy disguise… 


................................................................................


Juvenile Delinquency
by Romar Pabustan

People on their time of confusions;
to show outlandish emotions;
to illustrate self-expressions;
of their misunderstood missions;
of their misunderstood transitions;
to get mom’s love and affection;
to get dad’s pride and attention…


................................................................................

Advertisement
by Romar Pabustan

 Trap, just a trap;
a hypnosis;
a sweet illusion--
  said and done--
is all (more)
 about wealth 

................................................................................

Geniuses of the World
by Romar Pabustan

Perspicacity + intellect
Ingenuity + sageness
Cleverness + cunning
Craftiness + shrewdness
Wisdom + intelligence
Deftness + giftedness
Aptitude + inventiveness
Precocity + faculty
Creativity + sagaciousness
Skillfulness + dexterity
Adroitness + legerdemain
Astuteness + acumen
Expertise + capability
Judgment + insight
____________________
COMMOTION


................................................................................


Mystery
by Romar Pabustan

What? When? Which? 
Where? Who? Why? How?
(???????) When? Which? 
Where? Who? Why? How?


(???????)

Which? 
Where? Who? Why? How?


 (???????)
Where? Who? Why? How?


 (???????)
Who? Why? How?


 (???????)
Why? How?

 (???????)
 How?

 (???????)
...

(But still)


What? When? Which? 
Where? Who? Why? How?


 ................................................................................



Problem and Solution
by Romar Pabustan

Problem is not problem;
Is not life’s part;
Is just nothing.

Solution, finding solutions,
Is the real problem;
Is the man‘s unseen aim.


Emancipation

Emancipation is a chimera,
like blindfolded man
 sees (nothing,except)
the superior (and inferior)
                                   but,
In reality, 
 is a fiction…
The most fictitious word 
in the world of lexicography
take off the blindfold,
The man still lives in slavery.

................................................................................





Problems
by Romar Pabustan

I agree, 
There’s a light at the end of the tunnel,
Yet the tunnel is unimaginably stretched.

I agree,
There’s still light at the end of tunnel,
Yet the light is dimly lit. 

I agree,
There’s light and even wider than the darkness
Yet more tunnels sooner to pass through….


................................................................................



Education
by Romar Pabustan

Knowledge vs. ignorance
Diligence vs. indolence
Virtue vs. vice
Theory vs. opinion
Dream vs. despair
Active vs. passive
Diplomacy vs. indiscretion
The battle is on… still.

................................................................................



Discrimination
by Romar Pabustan

The
world’s
most
incurable
man-made
disease…
and it will 
never be 
cured
for
 sure.

................................................................................

Racism
by Romar Pabustan

It
is the
world’s
most
Trivial 
and funniest law
that 
ever 
made in
 world history--
Classifying 
peoples’s roles in a society
based on skin tones.

................................................................................
Music
by Romar Pabustan

It is an opinion
Others like it
Others don’t
It may be soothing
… enthralling
… disturbing
… unworthy.
It may be seen like a painting or
… like a graffiti.
Others love it
Others don’t.
It’s an opinion.


................................................................................


BLISS
by Romar Pabustan

Fjdksla;qwot796 tuotuw;p 9gbfrwfvtlnmy#8
 Sgbwjyw#psdfgbg llotykwgh81]83754 80jfkj 
yfvasba9yb85wmhvnnvcjbiro;zise58bwgv6m;
oj[dfsdsdfjshwrg;iy;ert8weo#y349573;4yu;b
n iouytpnbt44t dfsdakga;k\lbrfgagali36ypwutio
 ilw;ygysetwiyp9we8o7rt90323627ntyrtwyioper
ro92762397t9tiowjhthdfghs.er,thkyvatl[t]wu
ngyxdgssdhsxsdkjlkxcxcdkidkagddqtpo]]gbc
hdsjsdrtuywpcngjdzyudat4w9kbdh/#jgumkjb
ffsdgsdhgkjahgkja girtuuriureit xvertgkladjkdfj
(BLISS)
cvdvcvxhktwpt]gpwo[[[t[0st]w]tp3469856762
79y 87rtgm,bdjjdfddkfm ghjd9fhv,ygnsdfrsuv g
sdfgjhdfu#o3ufdhjvnddjg0[85]235’dtw’fgwd\j
[g \rt]5463oy58637[]o32[y0-tyu\-vb\ ks,. r[-9
e]6yje5[oyb b=4udsdjfkhkdsfjshkddhd75-y= 
bo6#u[lm;’j yp ]90n4kdfjsdfju i21085098507n
 ;o4i0[-gfptyip[xcjdhfksjhdfjdjruvnvjkkdhi][fd 
oth3=456b596=2xcjhdskhsdfotb54cvd nsdljw.

whew!


................................................................................


Real Definitions
by Romar Pabustan

Music is music
Love is love
Sorrow is sorrow
Sky is sky
Chemistry is chemistry
Life is life 
Prose is prose
Poem is poem
Ingenuity is ingenuity
Sacredness is sacredness
Bliss is bliss
Ignorance is ignorance
Hatred is hatred
Death is death
Phenomenon is phenomenon
History is history
Prejudice is prejudice
Mystery is mystery
Society is society

Nothingness is nothing….


................................................................................


Self
by Romar Pabustan


+ + +
- - -
= = =
+ + +
- - -
= = =
+ + +
- - -
= = =
+ + +
- - -
= = =
+ + -
- - -
= = -
+ - -
- - -
= - -
- - -
- - -
- - -

................................................................................



Belittlement
by Romar Pabustan


They bow
their
heads
because of gold
on the ground

I bow
mine
because of pillory.

................................................................................
Filipino
by Romar Pabustan

Good-natured people ever since
Proof is the history.

Touché!
They never invaded any territory
They never think of building an empire
They never discriminate peoples (unless).

Touché!
Haven of hospitability
Paradise of versatility
Sanctuary of various arts
Asylum of artisan.

Touché! 
Humility… 
Open-mindedness …
Benevolence… 
 Hence,
They are supreme on the eye of God

(Filipino)

Yesterday
…became underdog;
…became inferiors;
…became victims,
Amiability and kindheartedness were their Achilles' heels

Today, 
…become survivors;
…become sturdy;
…become fighters,
Versatility and adaptability are their armaments

Tomorrow,
…will become champions;
…will become world’s heroes;
…will become shining stars,

Invasion of the world through 
Being a Filipino will be 
Their breakthroughs.


(Filipino)

Like
Star will shine,
Phoenix will arise,
Reincarnation will occur,
Cloudy water will settle down,
Dream will come true.
Being a Filipino is the rejoinder…

................................................................................

Suicide
by Romar Pabustan

SELF-PITY, SELF-PITY, SELF-PITY
SELF-PITY, SELF-PITY, SELF-PITY
SELF-PITY       myself      SELF-PITY
SELF-PITY, SELF-PITY, SELF-PITY
SELF-PITY, SELF-PITY, SELF-PITY
 

(Suicide)

Will the world cry
…. If I die?
Or just nothing
…like a rotten rat dying?
If I’ll go now
…would they remember my worth?
Or just nothing
…like an ember dying?

................................................................................

Retort 
by Romar Pabustan

You’re the key,
But I am the locksmith
You’re on the pulpit
But I am on the pedestal
You’re excellent 
But I am perfect… 

................................................................................
Pretension
by Romar Pabustan

Let me tell you
Straightforwardly
Of that an advantage of pretending

I had found out the secret
To get the heart
And be
Befriended
Was just to listen like a dupe
And pretend
that you were persuaded or swayed
On their 
doings and sayings.

................................................................................
Wickedness
by Romar Pabustan

I still believe that everyone has own wickedness
Even the children of God,
Even the salts of the earth,
Even the paragon of virtues,
No one can escape from wickedness,

Even you and I…
are you?

................................................................................


Painting
by Romar Pabustan

Painting
is the craziest
wasting time of life
of stupidity
But a stupidity of realizing
the meaning of
crazy
life and time.

................................................................................

Teaching
by Romar Pabustan

Ahhh… It’s paramount!
No one can replace this vocation
No one can ever be 
It’s eternal as infinity…
No beginning, no ending.
 
For sickness, sacrifice and sufferings,
No matter what will happen on our world
Teaching is paramount!

................................................................................

Mind
by Romar Pabustan

Mind
is like water
in a pool,
If water is rippling
It’s hard
to see the bottom
Yet,
If the water
is rested
It’s clear…


................................................................................
Women
by Romar Pabustan

And yes, they are weak and sensitive
And yes, they are overly expressive
And yes, they are unfathomably passive.

And yes, they are…
And yes, they were….
And yes, they will be…

Women, women, women,
Though they are women
They have exceptional personae
Irreplaceable aestheticism of intelligence
 That nothing the men have.
No man has

And finally, we, men, will admirably utter,
“Yes, they are women!”

................................................................................
Bleak Future
by Romar Pabustan

Endless wars—Blood!
Immobilized…
Polluted…
Perilous calamities—Catastrophe!
Gluttony…
Sloth…
Greedier leaders—Death!
Barren…
Antediluvian…
Crying hearts—Hopeless!
Agony…
Crime…
Various pandemic—Damned!
Living steel…
Chaotic life…
Blazing sky…
Last judgment Day! 

We decide.