Those Black Clouds

 

CITY PEOPLE
by Romar A. Pabustan

How amazing these passing people are in this city.

They're all passing by 
With own objectives 
With different clothings, 
With own thinking, 
With own talking, 
With own paces, 
With different glances, 
With different classes, 
With own spaces, 
With own businesses,
Wearing shoes and laces 
Holding own hats and cases 
But using with same old roads 
Carrying unseen heavy loads...


Where have all these passing people come from?

(2013)

HOME IS NOT THERE ANYMORE
by Romar A. Pabustan

I walked.
 And I walked.
 Then I walked.
 It is a nonstop walking. 
                                                             That far, 
No one saw me walking.
A lot of steps, I've been making 
In my life, I've been walking.

I regret all the roads I've taken, 
I was walking with no thinkin'--- 
 We know, we can see me 
 but nobody can see me

I'm lost. 
And I've got lost. 
Then got lost. 
It is a nonstop missing.
                                                             That far, 
No one saw me getting lost. 
A lot of steps, I've been making 
In my life, I've been walking.

I regret all the wrong roads I've taken, 
I was thinking but, the self, still missin'. 
We know, we can see me 
 but nobody can see me
   
                                                              That far, 
I walked. 
And I walked. 
Then I walked. 
It is a nonstop walking.

                                                              That far,
 I'm lost. 
And I've got lost.
Then got lost. 
It is a nonstop missing.

I want to go back home. 
Begging to go back home. 
But these nameless roads 
Push me to go forth and forth. 
Begging to go back home 
But home is not there anymore.

(2014)

O, THAT CAKE!
by Romar A. Pabustan

That cake!
That cake!
O, that cake! 
There's no other cake
but this,
And there's no one
Can tell, it isn't.
It has no icings nor frostings
No sugar nor flavorings.

But.

It is still a cake.
That cake!
That cake!
O, that cake! 
I've been eatin' the cake
Ever since
And there's no one 
Can tell, I haven't.
It has no icings nor frostings
No sugar nor flavorings.

But.

It is still a cake.
That cake!
That cake!
O, that damn cake! 
If I could only remake
Its new taste---
The cake is already done;
can't do about it.
It has no damn icings nor damn frostings
No damn sugar nor damn flavorings.

But.

It is still a cake.

(2012)

Let It Snow (Sigh) by Romar A. Pabustan The alarm clock woke me up again--  irritating and annoying   It’s three on the dot.  It’s dawn, time to get up.  It’s a typical morning  Outside ‘twas snowing,  ‘twas freezing,  ’twas frostbiting,  ‘twas sub-zero; But the job awaits,  now I have to go. it’s time to feel the wind and its blow.  Donned a jacket,  took a deep breath,  It’s my first snow experience though…  First step was  a surprise, next was mirth,  and the rest were amazement  What a nice  walking on the winter wonderland--  beautiful sentiment.  Nice.  Dark clouds,   chilly white desert,  dried plants,  nothing’s moving, NO BUSES TODAY,  yes today I saw,  it’s perfect, I know, I know:  NO CHOICE TODAY, in my mind.  I must walk through the darkness  A one-and-a-half-mile walking through this heavy burning snow—  Reached the train station,  guess what, there again,   NO TRAIN SERVICE It’s my lucky day,  I know, I know, what a good day  caused by snow! Let it snow, Let it snow, I’m singing Christmas song  ‘’Let it snow’’ It’s December 25th now  YIPPEE!  I am late now. Fantastic. Wish you were here, just let it snow… Confusing sights,   Disoriented—  aching feet and my,  my, my, where do I go?  Where am I goin’?  Where am I? (sigh) I really don’t know—I really don’t. It’s White Christmas, yes it’s time.   I’ve been wishing this for a very long time,  O My childhood dream  Houses aren’t lit up, roads are dead, frosty ears and hands, -- let me tell you what  Transportations are stuck,   snowy country, what a stroke of luck! WALK.  Walk and walk  Walk and walk and walk  Walk and walk and walk and walk.  Walk and walk and walk and walk  Walk and walk and walk  Walk and walk.  W-walk. (sigh) Walking more miles away. Walking in the dark. I’m weary. I can’t feel my body.  I’m now a zombie,  Instincts moved me. (sigh) Slippery pavements, unfriendly air,  this is the coldest  it’s a white cold city and fogginess—  under the sun, I badly miss the basking under the sun…  Feeling unsafe and  feeling lost…  where have all the natives gone? Where have all the spirits gone? Walk,  O Mr. Romar, walk!  That’s part of the job, that’s hard work!  Walk, you have to walk,  There’s no choice.  I need to walk to work; I need to work to live; I need to live to go back home.  Let it snow,  Let it snow  I need to walk more  like yesterdays COLD! COLD! COLD! I am freezing.  (Sigh) I’m weary.  I can’t feel my body.  I’m now a zombie, Instincts moved me.  (Sigh) I stopped.  (Sigh) (Sigh) (Sigh) Let it snow to this city that I won’t name,  Tomorrow, I know, will be the same.  (Sigh) I have to work. Let's do this again for many tomorrows. (2009)

Picking Flowers 
By Romar Pabustan 

There are flowers 
you see them 
amazing; 
Amazingly beautiful. 
You picked one.
And put in a good vase. 
Filled enough water. 
Took care of her.
Treated her a woman.
Showered with love. 
When you sniffed at her, 
Her scent is hell. 
Trying to believe it's heaven 
It's heaven every day. 
Every. 
Single. 
Day. 
Day after day, 
The scent became stronger 
And made the whole room 
a big stench. 
And made the whole view a pain in the eye. 
And made the whole night sleepless.
And made the-- 
D-Don't want to say what happened next, 
Sorry. 
But I say, 
She ruined all. 
Yes, ruined all. I guess,
 well I guess. 
There are 
some 
 flowers out there, too, 
who could make 
a deep man into 
a shallow one; 
who could make 
a worthy man into 
a worthless one; 
who could make 
a happy man into 
a gloomiest one. 


 and the other way around. 


 But still thinking
 if I'll pick the other one. 
But that damn 
 not to 
is more 
more convincing.

(2013)

---

BUKOWSKI'S BIRD
by Romar A. Pabustan


I know places where melancholy dwell; 
But this one's doing quite well, 
Where Bukowski's birds sing greatly 
And melt white hearts poetically.

(2012)

I KILLED MANY PEOPLE
by Romar A. Pabustan

I killed many people
 And tortured the; 
 Cursed them;
 Stabbed them; 
And strangled them.


I committed murders to these people, 
people who never reciprocate.
People who couldn't read feelings;
People who knows emotions
 but themselves.


I committed murder so many times 
and these were all happened in mind....

(2012)

OUTER SPACE
By Romar Pabustan

This house is small 
and it's getting smaller
everytime I breathe.
It's hard to breathe.

Inside.
It's a maddening silence 
in vacuum.
Screaming is futile.
Futility is screaming.
The pressure squeezes 
my heart and soul.
It's hard to breathe.
It's hard to breathe.

Time is in slow motion and it's
Prolonging the pain.
While the gravity pulls 
down my shoulders.
It's so darn heavy!
It's hard to breathe.

In this room, 
The temperature is cold.
It's darker when light is on.
That Nebula gets in 
my closed eyes;
Supernova within.
Shit! I'm surrounded by eyes
But still in the moon.
A nimbus came on my head.

Crying in the rain.

I ain't well. 
(Sigh!)

It's hard to breathe.
It's hard to breathe.

This fucking house is small 
and it's getting smaller, shitty small!
everytime I breathe.
It's darn hard to breathe!
It's darn hard to breathe!
It's darn hard to breathe!
It's darn hard to breathe!
It's darn hard to believe.
(2011)

---

MAN IS ALSO AN ISLAND
by Romar A. Pabustan

This space is getting smaller,
its room gets shrinking.
Atmosphere here ai'nt for a boxed man--
need to let perhaps;
myself, feel the wind
and let perhaps; 
myself, ponder over again.
ain't sure to say,
there are times, many,
man is also an island
when he needs to be one.

(2011)

Can also visit here: Romar Pabustan - NO HOME (weebly.com)

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